Understand the lack of self-confidence to regain the self-confidence

Understand the lack of self-confidence to regain the self-confidence

Lack of self-confidence is a major obstacle to a fulfilling, vibrant and enterprising life. The causes of this lack of confidence are multiple. To know them and to identify the one we are suffering from is a first step towards regaining self-confidence.

Understand the lack of self-confidence to regain self-confidence

Lack of self-confidence is a widespread evil that affects all social classes and all generations. Everyone can be affected, punctually or regularly.

In addition, all areas of our life and our daily lives can be affected, whether in the personal or professional sphere.

It is a blockage that prevents us from acting and distills us from devaluing and negative thoughts.

Understand the lack of self-confidence

If you suffer from lack of self-confidence, you may feel locked in a straitjacket. You have the impression that you can never truly be yourself and not develop your potential.

It is a sensation that is manifested as much by fears (which seem irrational for some) as by blockages and inhibitions that prevent you from acting or even living in extreme cases.

Real symptoms

Where does the lack of self-confidence come from?

Some mention shortcomings in childhood, a lack of presence or parental authority. Others, on the other hand, believe that accidents in life can weaken a person who can not bounce, who can not find his bearings.

Suddenly, out of fear of others, for fear of not being able to face them, for fear of not being able, ... one begins to denigrate and to devalue oneself.

In terms of relationships with others, the lack of self-confidence is quickly visible because you are shy or embarrassed.

You expect to be confident to start delivering yourself, you are afraid of being ridiculous, you fear the look or judgment of others, you can not make decisions, you will procrastinate and hesitate frequently, even to shut up to avoid going against others.

In short, you erase yourself.

Phrases like "I'm bad", "I'll never get there", "I'm not good at it" become recurring leitmotivs, preventing you from starting an action or even planning it.

Identify the origins

If you suffer from lack of self-confidence, it is imperative to identify the causes.

You will then be able to take the necessary steps to put in place strategies and solutions to move forward and finally assert yourself and express yourself.

The causes of lack of self-confidence are multiple. But the most recurrent ones are:

-         the fear of criticism,

-         the fear of the gaze of the other,

-         self-doubt,

-         a feeling of inferiority,

-         and the feeling of feeling unloved and misunderstood.

-          

The 5 major causes of lack of self-confidence

Here is a panel of the main causes of lack of self-confidence ...

The fear of criticism

This is one of the most common fears causing a deficiency in self-confidence.

The main cause of this fear is that you are too focused and concerned about the opinions of others. As a result, you feel a sense of insecurity.

Instead of taking criticism in a positive and constructive way, you have the reflex to put yourself on the defensive.

The problem is that you care too much about what others think. You dismiss your personal opinions to give way to those of others. Unfortunately, it creates a sense of helplessness in you.

In the workplace, this type of behavior can harm you because it only takes a little emotional blackmail for you to crash.

By caring less about others, you stay yourself. You become an honest and stable person who does not pretend.

The feeling of inferiority

The feeling of inferiority clearly shows a feeling of insecurity.

The causes of this feeling usually go back to childhood.

It is possible that you have been humiliated, ignored or hurt, which made you doubt yourself and made you feel like the ugly duckling of the group or family, to feel bad love.

The root cause is often the parents. They are never malicious. So do not blame them except in extreme cases. But their attitude towards you child has effects on your confidence in you adult. They did not know how to encourage you or offer you a stable environment. They were too critical, too demanding or too protective. All this did not allow you to completely free yourself and emancipate yourself emotionally. It is then perfectly normal and logical to have developed a negative perception of yourself, stop thinking that you are not as good or as strong as others. Accept your strengths as much as you accept your weaknesses

Failure to assert yourself

Lack of self-confidence also comes from the inability to assert yourself, to say what you think or how you feel. This inability to defend yourself and express your needs brings you all of anger and resentment, not to mention that you are going to lock yourself in a bubble of negativity. The lack of co-financing in itself creates insecurity, doubt and pessimism. Learn to assert yourself and those around you will finally achieve what you want. The direct consequence of this will be a respect for your person and they will know that you are capable of assuming greater responsibilities. You will feel better about yourself

Perfectionism

Wanting to be perfect can sometimes be a quality. But perfectionism is very often a poison. On a daily basis and for the duration, for your confidence and your esteem. Because this leads to unrealistic expectations for yourself and those around you. For you, it is impossible to delegate. If you constantly think that everything has to be perfectly realized, you will approach life from a totally unrealistic point of view. In fact, by always wanting to do the right thing, or even do the best, you increase the chances of making mistakes and being disappointed. You will develop new fears and new anxieties. And therefore more insecurity. Do not always listen to people who put too much pressure on you to meet their needs or expectations. Tell them clearly and calmly what are your possibilities, availability and skills. Set achievable goals. And your fear of failure will fly away as quickly as it appeared

The Guilt

This feeling is part of a lack of self-confidence and prevents you from accessing happiness. In some ways, guilt is a useful feeling. It shows us that we have broken certain rules, that we are failing our values. She then acts as a blinking buzzer to indicate "Attention! You made a dumpling. True guilt never lasts long: it comes as a signal to prevent attention. However, it is important not to let it invade your whole being. If guilt sets in, then it becomes a problem. Because of your education, your education, your religion, or whatever, you find it difficult to express yourself and say "I have the right to be happy" or "I have the right to express myself freely". Guilt is a feeling that reinforces your lack of confidence. It is therefore important to tackle the problem as soon as possible so that it does not paralyze you A few practical solutions Go beyond these few tips ...

Here are some practical tips to regain your self-confidence.

Do not run away

 If you look straight in the eye, do not lower your eyes, do not turn your head. Communication does not just happen in words. Your body language (non-verbal communication) speaks for more than 80% for you: your attitudes, your behaviors, your possible twitches and nervous gestures sometimes say much more than just words

Play sports

To gain confidence in you, you must regain a good esteem of yourself. It is also important to meet new people and communicate with them. Sport is an excellent opportunity that combines all these conditions: you will feel better about yourself, you will learn to overtake yourself and every little victory will reassure you about your abilities.

Go to realistic goals

The lack of confidence often comes from a desire to do too much, to ask too much of others or simply to have unrealizable ideas. It's a good thing to set the bar high and give yourself big goals. But still it is necessary to be able to make the way to arrive there! Learn to identify your abilities and limitations. And do not hesitate to split your goal into different stages.

Use your fear

In a new situation, lack of confidence arises at the same time as panic fear. Instead of spending all that energy trying to hide that fear, try to turn it into action. For example, go to strangers and start the conversation. You must not let your intellect take over. Only the action will help you to realize that, finally, it was not so serious and that everything is possible. Fear causes hesitation and hesitation generates the realization of everything that scares you. Be in action.

Watch your look

Even if the adage says that the habit is not the monk, the first impression that a person will make of you, it will be looking at you. It is possible to project a positive feeling by dressing with clothes that will reveal your temperament and that you are comfortable in.

Conclusion

You now know the main causes of lack of self-confidence. You also know some practical solutions and methods to fight against. Do you recognize in one of these causes of lack of self-confidence? Regaining self-confidence is essential. And knowing where this lack comes from is important. Ask yourself ... Identifying the reasons for your lack of trust is the first step to fighting. The second step, knowing this, is to take action to regain your self-confidence.