Understanding why we fall in love with a particular person, and not another, is a challenge that has attracted the attention of psychologists for a very long time.
The emotions settle in our brain in a rather incomprehensible way, but they penetrate us, in our personality and in our desires, implicitly, almost magically.
Sometimes attraction is based on needs that we are not aware of, on aspirations and desires that we suddenly find in one type of person and not in another.
Let’s take a closer look …
The Brain
When we investigate all these processes that follow in our brain when we are in love, magic may lose some of its charms to bring us back to the colder world of chemistry, this wonderful mixture of Neurotransmitters capable of causing this famous sensation of being in the clouds. “
Endorphins, enkephalins, and phenylethylamine are responsible for our euphoria and happiness because they feed us with positive emotions.
But what activates these processes, what makes our brain freeze on one type of person and not on another?
Theory 1: Family Similarity
Sometimes we feel good with some people because they remind us, in a way, of our progenitors.
It feels safe and confident. We feel attraction because they are familiar to us, and being with them fills us with a feeling of affinity.
Theory 2: Correspondence
Another theory is that of correspondence. According to scientists, having shared similar experiences, going through the same things, having similar tastes and values plays a big role when you fall in love.
This is a good way to choose a partner for life because all these aspects make our lives easier and exciting. It is another type of affinity very enriching.
Theory 3: Admiration
It sometimes happens that the admiration we bear towards someone is transformed into love. This person serves as a mirror in which we see the virtues, aspirations or aspects that we have always wanted to see in us and that we have never attained in one way or another.
It is in this category that we can find, for example, the attraction towards people very different from us.
Indeed, we are sometimes attracted to safe, outgoing and enterprising people when we are more timid and uncertain. The opposites attract each other because, somehow, they complement each other and fulfill the needs of the other.
Theory 4: Chemistry
Numerous studies claim the importance of the famous pheromones. They are substances secreted by glands present in the lips, armpits, neck, groin, & c.
They are invisible substances that we can feel without realizing it, thanks to an organ called vomeronasal, independent of smell.
It is an odor that creates sensations, something unique to each and defines us in a certain way.
These are the most well-known theories of love, the ones that make us more attracted to one type of person than to another.